My Sphere of Madness

Photo: Karen Tjøstelsdatter Taxerås

I was writing to a friend of mine, rambling on about the good old days, and how we were..
But most of all about how things haven’t changed. Not one bit.
We grew older, yes. And hopefully a bit wiser.
But in the end we’re still the same kids that were hooked on men, and high on love.
(Now, how can you blame us? We’re women, after all..)
And that she’s still a maneater, and that she still think about men and love 24/7.

Ending, and summing up, I told her “But, I love you anyway”.
It does sounds all fine and dandy, doesn’t it?
But then I started thinking;
Isn’t that the same as telling her “I love you, despite of how you are”?
Why do we tell that to people we care about?
Despite all the things you say and do…
Wouldn’t it be more “correct” to say that you love them BECAUSE of it?!

How many times haven’t I told people that “even though you’re like this or that, I still love you”?
I know I’ve said it over and over again. It’s turned in to the way I express my affection.
Not honest and straight up. “I love you” or “I care for you, because you’re special”.
It’s turned it to a joke, or a farce.
“You’re a total nutcase, but I love you anyway.”
And we all laugh. Shrug it of.
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say.”

I’m not saying it’s not good enough.
At least it’s some way of telling someone that they’re important to you.
But wouldn’t it be better, and so much more genuine to tell them
“I love you because you are who you are, not despite of it.”
Really, it’s what they say and do that made you care for them in the first place!
Why is it so difficult to say that out loud?
Not say “I just put up with all your shit”..
But instead, say “I don’t always understand why you do all the shit you do, but it’s what makes you, YOU”.
Maybe it doesn’t sound much better, but at least it holds a different meaning.

I just had a déjà vu. I guess I’ve talked about this before.
But, if it’s the case that I’m repeating myself, it just shows that it’s something I’ve given a lot of thought.

I guess what I should have told my friend was;
“Yes, you’re still the same, but I love you for being just this way”.
And since I didn’t say that to her.. Well, I guess it’s the reason I’m writing this.

Honestly, I think that this is the only right way to express your love for someone.
“I love you, BECAUSE you are who you are, and NOT despite of it.”
Don’t you?