My dear friend
I encountered Death today, he sat beside me on a bench in the park, an old man hardened by his many years. We sat a long while in silence, as I watched him feeding the pigeons. He sighed and gazed after them as they took flight into the clear blue sky.
“It wears an old man out, this work I do.” He said as he looked right through me with a distant stare. “It tires me not being wanted when I come. And it breaks my heart when they welcome me with a smile.”
I studied his face, as I memorized each furrow and line. I took note of crooked fingers on hands that were shaking, nearly unnoticeable. A long life on duty in the afterlife, as a bringer and a guide, was reflected in his eyes, and had given him a sorrowful smile.
He sighed again, and closed his eyes. And as I watched my aging friend, I couldn’t help but wonder; could Death ever retire?
I remember the darkness clearly, and the feeling of safety. I remember being cradled in a pair of strong arms, and feeling loved. Then suddenly he let me go, and sent me alone into the light. He stayed behind, looking so small and frail, left alone enclosed in the dark. I remember his hushed words as he turned his back to my outstretched hands, and walked into the nothingness.
“Till we meet again, farewell, my dear.”
I met a stranger today. I was sitting on the edge of the dock, dipping my toes in the water. It was dark and cold, and seemingly bottomless. I felt a desire to jump in, and found myself wondering how far I would fall.
That’s when he appeared. Without a word he sat down beside me, carefully removed his black shoes and socks, rolled up his pant, and put his icy white feet into the dark water. Then he looked down at me, and showed me his radiant smile. He was young and delicate, but still seemed strong. His eyes were as bottomless as the dark water I was yearning for, and his smile was honest and calming.
I smiled back at him, the way only a four year old can, with all it’s heart and so full of life and joy. He replied by taking my little hand in his big. Then we sat in silence, gazing over the endless ocean fading into the horizon.
“I wonder what it feels like to die.” The dark hole in front of me seemed so unwelcoming. “It can’t be very nice.” As I shook my head and sighed at the thought, he came up to my side.
“It’s not too bad, really. You can think of it as coming home after a long vacation. The road is long and dreary, and it seems like it will never end. Then suddenly, you see your house somewhere in the horizon, and you know that when you get there, someone will be waiting for you with their arms stretched out.”
Perplexed, I looked up at the man standing next to me. His black suit made him look pale, and his features were strong, but his eyes were gentle. And as I put the single red rose on top of the coffin, he sent me an encouraging smile.
“You have a too optimistic way of looking at death,” I answered mischievously. “I hope it’s worse than that. Most people doesn’t deserve better than to die a slow and painful death. “
We met again today. I was angry, and he wasn’t pleased. Life had treated me badly. It wasn’t as easy as I thought when I was an ignorant child.
He spoke harshly today, telling me to toughen up.
I could see the years had treated him rough, and his eyes reflected a wisdom way beyond his years. He looked so much older that I remembered him.
And I bowed my head, starring at the ground, as he told me off. I knew that he was right, I did need to become stronger. It’s not a way to live, always looking for an easy way out, and giving up before you try. I knew it, still it took his presence to realize the fact. And to my amazement, in that moment, I felt a strange sense of calm settle in my heart.
He was here again. I was feeling alone and sad, and as I thought of how everyone had abandoned me, ha came to prove me wrong. He said “I’ll never abandon you, I’ll come if you just call.”
His love for me took me by surprise, this man I hardly knew. He was my greatest mystery, but still he always made me feel safe. I shed my tears, wrapped in his arms, and proclaimed my endless gratitude to the stranger.
“You always know just what to say,” I said, and laughed through my tears. He smiled that smile I know so well, and winked as he disappeared out of my sight.
I was visited by Death today, I now know that’s who he is. Today he stopped by justified, he must have sensed my pain.
“You don’t want to do this,” he said. “Today is not the day.” I gave him the evil eye, and screamed “What the Hell do you know?! It’s my choice when I go!”
He shook his head and took two steps back. “Okay then, go ahead. But hear my words, if you do, it won’t be me waiting on the Other Side.” His words hit me right between my ribs, and took my breath away. As the knife hit the floor, the tears flooded down my cheeks. The horror of the revelation send shivers through my rigid body, and removed every last bit of strength.
I felt his gentle hand on my shoulder as I fell to my knees, not sure if he was trying to shove me down or hold me up. “The day will come, my dear. There is no reason to rush towards it.”
I ran into Death today, this time it was by chance. He gave me an tired and dreary smile, and sat down, just to talk. He asked me how I had been, he hadn’t seen me in a while. “I’m fine, I guess. I have no reason to complain. But the years go by much too fast, and I don’t feel like myself anymore. I wish I could be young and beautiful forever. This ‘growing old’ thing is much too tough.”
He frowned at me, and put on a serious face, “Forever is a long time, my dear, believe me, I should know. Immortality is overrated, ’cause you’ll be spending your forever all alone.”
Today I met Death in the park, just two old people wasting time. We shared tales of love and sorrow, life and death, and watched the people passing by.
I must admit, it was quite strange, the way the hours dragged by. “Have time always moved this slow?” I asked, and Death nodded slowly in reply. “You were just to busy to notice.. You thought time flew, but if you’d only halted for a while, you’d notice that time moves at it’s own pace, regardless of the world. Not too fast, and not too slow. Time is a dedicated man.”
I found myself admiring Death today, the conscientious man that he is.
My friend has one of the most important jobs ever, and still he spend his time with useless people like myself. His work never ends, and yet he makes time to feed the pigeons and stare up at the sky. Death has no time at all, and all the time in the world. He is never welcomed, but he always shows.
I gazed upon my aging friend today, and pondered the whereabouts of our youth. His face, so wrinkled and hardened by time reflected my own. And as I sat there, trying to remember how he’d looked when we first met, I suddenly felt envious of my tired friend. His lifetime spent doing his demanding job diligently, and mine wasted doing nothing at all.
I called up Death today, and asked him to drop by. He wondered about this sudden request, and I had to tell him why. “I have been thinking of you a lot lately, I guess you could say it comes with old age. Of course, you’ve always been on my mind, but lately you’re all that I can think of. So I thought I might as well give you a ring and ask you to stop by. I think it might be time to seal the deal we made so long ago.”
I could tell by the sadness in his voice that I had said something wrong. “The deal is not yours to seal,” he said, and then the line went dead.
Today he took my hand so firm in his, like that time when I was four. “You look so young,” I had to admit. I got a gentle smile in return.
“I have missed you for a long, long time. The waiting made me old. I have longed for this since the day that you were born.” Every word he said was gentle, but still somehow sad. His voice, filled with an unexplainable love, made me feel calm and free.
“The day has finally come,” I said in a sincere voice. “It’s time for me to go home.” He nodded, and squeezed my hand as he lifted his chin and look toward something beyond. “Into the dark we go, my dear. Now, let me take you home..”
